Scottish people HATE these 15 things : please don't do them!
14 belongings you completely shouldn’t do when visiting Scotland
A number of years in the past I wrote a submit about a number of the Scottish stereotypes folks prefer to perpetuate (and why you shouldn’t imagine them…), and, as that submit stays common to at the present time, I figured it was about time for a observe up. With out additional rambling, then, listed here are 14 random belongings you completely shouldn’t do if you happen to’re visiting Scotland: largely as a result of Scottish folks hate them – belief me on this…
14 issues Scottish folks want you wouldn’t do when visiting Scotland:
Put on tartan to “mix in”.
Actually, you’d be higher off simply hanging an indication spherical your neck saying, “HELLO, I’M A TOURIST!”
Whereas some Scottish males do put on kilts to issues like weddings, or different formal occasions, if you happen to’re wandering spherical Edinburgh or Glasgow, say, you’re not going to see hoards of Scottish folks heading to their workplace jobs all decked out in kilts, tartan attire, or those tartan hats with the pom poms on top which can be all the time being attributed to us. Nuh-uh.
You’ll, nevertheless, see a whole lot of vacationers in tartan and sporrans, all considering they’re mixing in completely: I imply, it’s cute, don’t get me unsuitable, however if you happen to’re hoping to be mistaken for a neighborhood, I’m afraid you’re going to be disenchanted…
(If you happen to DO see a Scotsman in a kilt, in the meantime, please don’t ask him what’s underneath it, and underneath NO circumstances try to check…)
Ask us if we all know your Auntie Janet, who visited the Orkney Islands in 1969, and has by no means been again since.
Funnily sufficient, my two-year-old ALSO thinks I do know everybody in the entire world, so that ought to inform you numerous about how the entire, “Oh, you’re Scottish? Properly, you should know my neighbour’s sister’s daughter!” factor sounds to us.
It’s a small nation, sure, however no-one is aware of 5.5 million folks, absolutely? Think about how laborious it will be attempting to recollect all their names!
Make enjoyable of our accents.
Yeah, we all know you assume Scottish folks speak humorous: we expect you speak humorous too. What we received’t discover humorous, although, is your hilarious try to mimic us by adopting a ‘Groundskeeper Willie’ accent to inform us, “There’s been a murdurrr!” or yell “FREEDUUUMMM!” at us. Simply… don’t. (Additionally: “Och aye the noo,” is Not a Actual Phrase. I repeat: Not a Actual Phrase…)
Anticipate us to know what clan we’re supposedly a part of.
Solely pack for one kind of climate.
For a latest day trip (On the finish of July, no much less…) I wore a pair of trousers with a t-shirt, and introduced with me:
01. A skinny sweater.
02. A light-weight jacket
03. A a lot hotter, waterproof jacket
04. Sun shades
I ended up sporting simply the t-shirt and lightweight jacket (And trousers, after all: always remember your trousers…), however all or any of this stuff may simply have needed to be deployed – the climate is that changeable. Two issues that each one Scottish folks know:
01. Don’t belief the climate report.
02. LAYERS. Heaps and plenty of layers.
Ask somebody which soccer crew they help.
As a result of, if you happen to do, you’ll truly be asking them what faith they’re, they usually most likely received’t assume you’re asking out of harmless curiosity. Sure, it’s… complicated.
Assume all Scottish folks hate the English.
Sadly, there’s a small minority of Scottish individuals who harbour historic grudges towards The English, however the majority of us are as repulsed by that as you most likely are, so please don’t assume we’re all like that: whereas many of the objects on this record are simply mildly amusing quite than actively annoying, this one is admittedly, actually offensive to these of us who’ve family and friends within the south, and, nicely, who’re simply not bigots…
Begin a dialog about Scottish independence.
They hardly ever finish nicely: belief somebody who solely simply made it by the referendum with all of her friendships intact…
Inform us all about how you’re Scottish too, as a result of your great-great-grandfather’s sister’s cat’s cousin lived in Aberdeen.
Look, you’re both Scottish otherwise you’re not: one-sixty-eighth Scottish is not a factor right here, so when while you begin earnestly explaining your Scottish heritage, which seems to be some tenuous hyperlink from 4 hundred years in the past, we are going to nod and smile politely, however each time you declare to be “Scottish”, we’ll be secretly considering, “No you’re not, you’re from Kansas.”
Check with Scottish folks as “Scotch”.
Scotch is whisky (and no, the stuff we make doesn’t have an ‘E’ in its spelling…). Scottish individuals are… Scottish. We are going to solely let you know this as soon as.
Inform somebody from Edinburgh that you just like Glasgow higher, or vice versa.
If requested, it’s most secure simply to say that each cities are superior (which they’re), and depart it at that. Though Edinburgh is clearly higher.
Talking of Edinburgh…
Name it “Edinboro” quite than “Edinburgh”.
BURRR-UHH. Ed-in-BURR-UH. Say it with me…
Ask us if we’ve ever heard of Netflix / iPhones / the Web / the spherical wheel and so forth.
My brother-in-law as soon as sat subsequent to an American gentleman on a flight to London: at one level, the person requested how my brother-in-law could be getting again to Scotland as soon as they landed, and virtually fell off his seat in astonishment when he discovered we’ve airports right here, you can fly into in a kind of newfangled flying machines: think about!
Turned out he – like lots of people, to be sincere – had purchased into the concept Scotland is a few sort of Land That Time Forgot, and that it’s nonetheless the 18th century right here or one thing. The identical brother-in-law, as an illustration, has additionally been requested if we’ve the web right here in Scotland, and I very often get weblog feedback from folks asking me if I’ve heard of actually fairly unusual issues, like Starbucks, or McDonalds, or no matter. Like I stated, Outlander has a LOT to reply for…
Complain about how sizzling it’s in your nation.
Even if you happen to actually burst into flames each time you permit the home, you’ll get no sympathy right here, sorry. Really, we’ll simply assume you’re attempting to do some bizarre sort of stealth boast, and choose you for it. Normally, Scottish folks don’t are inclined to enthuse over chilly, moist climate: it’s not likely a novelty for us, sadly…
With all of that stated, right here’s a fast and tedious caveat to say that this submit is meant to be lighthearted, so if you happen to’ve visited Scotland and completed any of these items, don’t fear, Scottish folks don’t ACTUALLY hate you for it: we would speak humorous and have climate that can make you need to weep, however we do love our vacationers – promise!
Fellow Scottish folks: be at liberty so as to add to this record!
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